ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
