i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
