ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize