my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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