He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize