i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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