The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
