There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Randomize
