Please, let me fuck your mom
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Randomize
