It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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