ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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