that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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