She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
