ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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