You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
