yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
