I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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