it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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