on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
