Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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