cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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