Welp...herpes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize