at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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