Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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