Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"

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  (908): i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits" http://tfl.nu/grvc
  Replies (45) Good night (4083) Bad night (1213)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.

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  (917): OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE. http://tfl.nu/leeu
  Replies (23) Good night (789) Bad night (4244)
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  (562): View more from California

  How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?

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  (562): How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std? http://tfl.nu/ee21
  Replies (26) Good night (748) Bad night (5307)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave

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  (339): When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave http://tfl.nu/n4gt
  Replies (9) Good night (1015) Bad night (5805)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name

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  (423): In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name http://tfl.nu/dqgq
  Replies (3) Good night (3162) Bad night (852)
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  (909): View more from California

  He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.

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  (909): He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere. http://tfl.nu/wyhi
  Replies (4) Good night (3180) Bad night (821)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.

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  (360): There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it. http://tfl.nu/jy69
  Replies (21) Good night (2304) Bad night (698)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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  (519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh
  Replies (5) Good night (1672) Bad night (757)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I want a burrito.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Truly, you are the voice of a generation.

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  (541): I want a burrito. (1-541): Truly, you are the voice of a generation. http://tfl.nu/xqng
  Replies (9) Good night (2789) Bad night (738)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from. 

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  (832): I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.  http://tfl.nu/6jpo
  Replies (2) Good night (1140) Bad night (555)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  $200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.

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  (724): $200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm. http://tfl.nu/59s4
  Replies (9) Good night (1809) Bad night (578)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone

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  (847): It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone http://tfl.nu/1xod
  Replies (6) Good night (778) Bad night (1076)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.

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  (337): Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM. (1-337): How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse. http://tfl.nu/m0tv
  Replies (6) Good night (757) Bad night (523)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..

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  (920): All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot.. http://tfl.nu/vftt
  Replies (4) Good night (255) Bad night (545)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.

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  (207): I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice. http://tfl.nu/qmno
  Replies (0) Good night (224) Bad night (54)

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