I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it's like heaven, but drunker
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
