Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules

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  (917): I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules http://tfl.nu/muds
  Replies (2) Good night (1587) Bad night (574)
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  (858): View more from California

  i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth

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  (858): i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth http://tfl.nu/1tze
  Replies (11) Good night (1049) Bad night (2766)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

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  (608): Im mastering the way to pass gas silently. http://tfl.nu/n26o
  Replies (24) Good night (2981) Bad night (838)
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  (949): View more from California

  even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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  (949): even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that http://tfl.nu/ftma
  Replies (29) Good night (648) Bad night (4462)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.

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  (770): It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college. http://tfl.nu/l73u
  Replies (15) Good night (5754) Bad night (756)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.

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  (303): It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes. http://tfl.nu/06hp
  Replies (36) Good night (926) Bad night (9711)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

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  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3253) Bad night (1593)
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  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1220) Bad night (11960)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.

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  (978): I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it. http://tfl.nu/93wr
  Replies (6) Good night (2471) Bad night (1000)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things

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  (248): Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things http://tfl.nu/ht36
  Replies (9) Good night (1320) Bad night (722)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm so there

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  (602): The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast (480): I'm so there http://tfl.nu/rimu
  Replies (1) Good night (953) Bad night (332)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot

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  (775): Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot http://tfl.nu/cjjt
  Replies (5) Good night (1075) Bad night (369)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.

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  (937): Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though. http://tfl.nu/d5b6
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (236)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone

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  (306): come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone http://tfl.nu/9a3u
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (258)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.

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  (703): I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/y1ce
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (316)

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