so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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