You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize