He uses pillows to masturbate.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
