alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize