btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
