If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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