the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
did you just send me my own nude
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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