somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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