afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
