I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
