I'm laying in your front yard are you home
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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