He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
