I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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