shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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