I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
