i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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