and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
