I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
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tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
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If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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