Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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