It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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