the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
