Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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