Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
