turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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