i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just invented taco cereal.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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