And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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