the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
