Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize