if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize