Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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