remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
