youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
