Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
